May 5, 2017
Today, nothing much really happened to be honest. I just spent most of the time lying down while finishing all korean dramas like Another Miss Oh and The Heirs. Good thing is that I finished them before the sun rose a while ago or else I’d be so dead to my mother if she see me wide awake like a fish. HAHA.
Even though this day wasn’t that much interesting and maybe it may seemed like some kind of ordinary day for me but I still felt relaxed. I wasn’t thinking of anything about school or whatsoever. I let go of all the bitterness for the last 24 hours and I am happy for that. I’ve been longing for a very long time to experience that kind of feeling before I get to start once again. I know that I’ve been trying really hard to fix things over regarding my health these past few weeks but only ended up more confused than I was before. I somehow miss my old self — that girl who’s always busy with college papers and examinations; who even abused herself with studying; who refused to have a social life for the sake of academics… I miss that kind of life. This is because that is the only time I can escape with my personal problems. I feel like even it’s just little by little, I am still able to move on from the tragic memories of my past that continuously haunts me. Those memories that I am talking about may not be known to my entire family but it stayed with me until today. I will be okay. I promise that.
May 4, 2017
I have been wondering for quite a while now, “Why do I feel that something’s going to happen not just to me but to anybody?”. It is like I have to treasure every single day of my life from now on or else I will end up crying with no one there to comfort me. I seemed to feel guilty about something that I, myself cannot even explain. I want to say something but words are just not coming out. I want to call someone but why do I always let go of all the chances when there is one. I feel lost. And also at the same time, I feel lonely. I’ve been trying to comfort myself by distracting my mind and soul with the things that I regularly do but all these random and weird stuff can’t just get out of my head. What do I do? I am still wondering until now upon when do I get an answer to my questions. Continue reading “4th of May”
April 28, 2017
To be honest, it really wasn’t easy for me to blog these days since I have been facing several problems regarding my personal health. Well in fact, today, I went to Healthway to have a general checkup and get a consultation from a doctor. I went there because I have been feeling intermittent tingling and some kind of numbness feeling on my lower back and even on my left arm. Also, there was some pain when I urinate but that only happened once since that afternoon. At first, there were two illnesses that appeared unto my mind all based on the symptoms that I have – one is the very common Urinary Tract Infection (UTI) and the second one was a more severe case which is having a kidney stone. And so, when the doctor checked me up and ran tons of laboratory examinations, nothing seemed to be wrong but even though everything seemed to be normal, why I am feeling this way? Back then, I recalled that before I felt such signs and symptoms, I did some exercise earlier that morning and because of that intuition, the doctor concluded that maybe there were just nerves that were affected especially on my back all due to my not so heavy exercise and with regard to the occasional chest pain that I am feeling (sharp pains that go away after few seconds), it said to be only a result of my acid reflux, but that did not stopped me from thinking of something else. I knew deep inside that there was something the doctor’s missing. Continue reading “28th of April”
April 18, 2017
안녕하세요!!! What happened today? Hmmm…
I felt really controlled today. It’s just that I never talked back unto my parents for making me do and buy stuff outside and even to my evil-like sister who passed almost all of the house chores to me. Honestly, I have no idea why I was like that today but even though that is the case, I somehow realized that this is a good move to start actually. I mean if I would be able to consider first the happenings around me before making my emotions push through, I’m going to feel relaxed and at the same time, fulfilled as well. Fulfilled in the sense that, I became firm and optimistic throughout the day and also that I am relieved that I’ve hurt no one through my words and actions.
Little by little, I am somewhat learning to know how to adapt in this world. At my age, I know that I need to be mature already and it is like this is the serious stage peeps. And with that, I am looking forward to see my future not only as a successful one in the line of my chosen career but also being a big contributor to the society that I belong to.
And I guess this can be considered as my biggest dream… A dream to become a better human being. 🙂
April 16, 2017 | Easter Sunday
I tried to woke up early today. Instead of my usual wake up time which is 10AM, I am very proud of myself that I got to open my eyes by around 7AM without any alarms. Yey! Well for me, that’s already a big big achievement. Haha. Continue reading “16th of April”
April 1, 2017
Whenever I come up to a point wherein ideas aren’t flowing in and things are not just fitting the way I want them to be, I always try to write an entry to my daily journal. And even though I stopped long time ago, luckily, the eager to write is still within me. Thankfully!
So what to share about today? Hmmm… Let’s see.
Continue reading “1st of April”
November 18, 2016 | Head Injury
Today, I was really worried about Ate Janine since she had a head accident while playing their finals game in women’s basketball division a while ago. I felt terrible since when she fell to the ground having her head first, we couldn’t do a thing for it was also the time when we were playing our semi-finals match in badminton. My partner and I were really worried about all the things just by seeing it but of course, we can’t just stop and run unto them. We have to continue and that’s what we did. After the entire game, we rushed towards their side and seeing their emotional faces just alarmed me. Continue reading “18th of November”