4th of May

May 4, 2017

Dear Journal,

I have been wondering for quite a while now, “Why do I feel that something’s going to happen not just to me but to anybody?”. It is like I have to treasure every single day of my life from now on or else I will end up crying with no one there to comfort me. I seemed to feel guilty about something that I, myself cannot even explain. I want to say something but words are just not coming out. I want to call someone but why do I always let go of all the chances when there is one. I feel lost. And also at the same time, I feel lonely. I’ve been trying to comfort myself by distracting my mind and soul with the things that I regularly do but all these random and weird stuff can’t just get out of my head. What do I do? I am still wondering until now upon when do I get an answer to my questions. 

This might be a very hazy post for my diary but I still took the courage to write this here right at this moment. Maybe it is because I feel that this has already been part of my life and even the craziest things in my head or the weirdest stuff that I do will be written here. I want something to look back to in time. Also, I know that all things happen for a reason. This may not yet be the perfect time for me to know the reason why these things are running inside my small head, but one day I feel that I will know. I, too deserve an explanation. 🙂

Sorry for all the fuss tonight. See ya! 



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