28th of April

 April 28, 2017

Dear Journal,

            To be honest, it really wasn’t easy for me to blog these days since I have been facing several problems regarding my personal health. Well in fact, today, I went to Healthway to have a general checkup and get a consultation from a doctor. I went there because I have been feeling intermittent tingling and some kind of numbness feeling on my lower back and even on my left arm. Also, there was some pain when I urinate but that only happened once since that afternoon.  At first, there were two illnesses that appeared unto my mind all based on the symptoms that I have – one is the very common Urinary Tract Infection (UTI) and the second one was a more severe case which is having a kidney stone. And so, when the doctor checked me up and ran tons of laboratory examinations, nothing seemed to be wrong but even though everything seemed to be normal, why I am feeling this way? Back then, I recalled that before I felt such signs and symptoms, I did some exercise earlier that morning and because of that intuition, the doctor concluded that maybe there were just nerves that were affected especially on my back all due to my not so heavy exercise and with regard to the occasional chest pain that I am feeling (sharp pains that go away after few seconds), it said to be only a result of my acid reflux, but that did not stopped me from thinking of something else. I knew deep inside that there was something the doctor’s missing.

            Back to the times when I was supposed to be admitted in the University of the Philippines, I was checked there before actually processing my enrollment in the said college. In there, there were also no findings stating that I am sick except for the fact that my doctor found out about my irregular heartbeat. And because of these irregularities, I was asked to undergo ECG which will try to determine whether there were any problems with regards to my heart. At first, my mother and I thought that performing the lab exam would only be way for them to have some income since the rest of the consultations were all free except for this one and so, we didn’t take that too much. In short, I did the ECG thingy but because of lack of time and interest, we did not come back for the results the next day. For so many reasons, I’ve been constantly curious of the said results but on the other hand, I am way too scared to find out. Until now, the results are not on my hand but what it contains is what really matters to me right now. Even though, I have been trying to convince myself that my current doctors insisted that internally, I am indeed okay, I am still worried about something. What if this is related to my heart? What if something’s wrong with it? And also, until when do I have to endure all the pain – though mild, still burdens me?

            Despite of all these things boggling inside my mind, I don’t want to make my entire family be worried about me. They have done so much for me; in fact, this is not the perfect time to be sick.

            I am just praying right now to Almighty God that I hope this will go away in time and that this is something not that serious as I think of it, but of course, if the chest pain that I am feeling right now is not just merely because of my acid reflux, I want to be checked immediately. Why? It is simply because I still have a lot of things to do and I just want to fulfill the promises I made.

            Please make it happen, my Lord. This I ask of you. Amen.

 

Sincerely,

Angelie

 

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