1ST of July

July 1, 2013

Dear Journal, 

From this point, I’ll be more open with this journal because at first, I’m afraid that other people might see what I wrote here.

So I’ll take it like this…

Last night, I felt this kind of emotion that I can’t tell anyone. I cried a lot that even I want to punch somebody just for me to tell my feelings deep inside.

All my life, I worked so hard just to make my parents proud but what I feel now is different. My parents don’t appreciate my achievements. 

I don’t even know maybe I’m just a little sentimental but that’s what I feel. There are times that they would be the one degrading me; telling me that I’m not good, and as if they want to tell the whole world that I’m weak.

These times continued up to now. I can’t explain if it’s just the way they show their love for me, and also I’m not sure if there is something else except for that negative reason.

Sometimes, I would even think of doing something bad that I tried to control my feelings. Also, I tried to go to the guidance office but while I’m on my way, the good memories are the ones running in my head.

Maybe, God has reason for this. I know that my parents will only decide for the better. But my only wish now is for them to show how proud they are for me because when I say my classmates very happy because their parents gave them reward for having a passing grade. Me? I don’t experience that, but still, there will be a time for that. 

On the other hand, even though I got my problems deep inside me, of course, I should not let that affect my actions in class. As if nothing happens…

This day, my friends made me happy in different ways.

C will tell her experience about her past crushes. I can’t even drink my water because of laughing so loud. I’m not expecting the appearance of his crush.

While we are eating our lunch, Dads will tell different stories and Layla will extend the story and Monay will end up the first story and started a new one.

Different stories & actions, but all I know is my friends made me happy. Without them, I don’t consider my life as complete one.

Yours truly, 

Angelie

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