15th of June

June 15, 2017

Dear Journal,

            This is the kind of day that I really hate the most. The red day… I mean, why do us, girls, have to suffer every single month for this. Lols XD. It is just really unacceptable, honestly speaking. *sighs*

            Well anyway, as if I can do anything to resolve this mess, I’ll just cut the chase and finish this journal entry for the day HAHA. Hmmm… Actually, I was scheduling something to be posted like an update on one of my favorite series that I am doing here in my blog but ended up discarding everything that I made. Too much conflicting ideas, I guess. And so, I want to do it again tomorrow after my prep sessions for the semestral opening this coming Monday. I know that rushing things up is not a good idea that is why I want to think things over and over again before publishing anything. Hoping for the best! Bye. 🙂

 

Sincerely,

Angelie

7th of June

June 7, 2017

Dear Journal,

              Today is my enrollment day! After a very long time of waiting, I finally got the chance to sign-up for my admission this coming semester. It wasn’t a great process to be honest since every time I go to my registration account, I am constantly reminded that I am no longer part of my old class. Soooo sad. We were separated and distributed to new sections as part of the ongoing process to resolve the problems happening amongst us especially bullying. I know it’s really a big deal especially to those who were really involved in this issue but not to us who were not. But even though that is the case, we have to adjust and start a brand new day. This is going to be hard but we have to try. I am no longer sector five but that’s okay… I’ll just try my best to fit once again. Continue reading “7th of June”

25th of May

May 25, 2017

Dear Journal,        

           Today was just like any other day except for the fact that I slept for over an hour this afternoon. I felt really comfy with the weather outside that’s why I got a great sleep. The truth is, it hasn’t been raining for a very long time in our region until yesterday so that is the reason why tons of people are looking forward to this type of climate. It isn’t the wet season yet but I feel that this is already the beginning. Ahhh, so great!

6th of May

May 6, 2017

Dear Journal,

            I am so much in pain right now but you know what the worst thing is? It’s the fact that I can’t show how crushed I am. I can’t let people know that I am broken deep inside. This is because I don’t want them to feel pity towards me. You know how much I hate being the cause of a certain problem. I may have looked like a very confident person when I talk in front of huge crowd but in reality, I was just pushing myself to the limit coz I don’t wanna disappoint the people behind me. Yes, I am weak. I am very much weak and I know that, but when will I ever get out of this misery?

           I tried to be strong and I still am but I am also afraid that maybe one day, I’ll get tired of trying to overcome everything all alone. 

Sincerely,

Angelie

5th of May

May 5, 2017

Dear Journal,

        Today, nothing much really happened to be honest. I just spent most of the time lying down while finishing all korean dramas like Another Miss Oh and The Heirs. Good thing is that I finished them before the sun rose a while ago or else I’d be so dead to my mother if she see me wide awake like a fish. HAHA. 

              Even though this day wasn’t that much interesting and maybe it may seemed like some kind of ordinary day for me but I still felt relaxed. I wasn’t thinking of anything about school or whatsoever. I let go of all the bitterness for the last 24 hours and I am happy for that. I’ve been longing for a very long time to experience that kind of feeling before I get to start once again. I know that I’ve been trying really hard to fix things over regarding my health these past few weeks but only ended up more confused than I was before. I somehow miss my old self — that girl who’s always busy with college papers and examinations; who even abused herself with studying; who refused to have a social life for the sake of academics… I miss that kind of life. This is because that is the only time I can escape with my personal problems. I feel like even it’s just little by little, I am still able to move on from the tragic memories of my past that continuously haunts me. Those memories that I am talking about may not be known to my entire family but it stayed with me until today. I will be okay. I promise that. 

 

Sincerely,

Angelie

4th of May

May 4, 2017

Dear Journal,

I have been wondering for quite a while now, “Why do I feel that something’s going to happen not just to me but to anybody?”. It is like I have to treasure every single day of my life from now on or else I will end up crying with no one there to comfort me. I seemed to feel guilty about something that I, myself cannot even explain. I want to say something but words are just not coming out. I want to call someone but why do I always let go of all the chances when there is one. I feel lost. And also at the same time, I feel lonely. I’ve been trying to comfort myself by distracting my mind and soul with the things that I regularly do but all these random and weird stuff can’t just get out of my head. What do I do? I am still wondering until now upon when do I get an answer to my questions.  Continue reading “4th of May”

28th of April

 April 28, 2017

Dear Journal,

            To be honest, it really wasn’t easy for me to blog these days since I have been facing several problems regarding my personal health. Well in fact, today, I went to Healthway to have a general checkup and get a consultation from a doctor. I went there because I have been feeling intermittent tingling and some kind of numbness feeling on my lower back and even on my left arm. Also, there was some pain when I urinate but that only happened once since that afternoon.  At first, there were two illnesses that appeared unto my mind all based on the symptoms that I have – one is the very common Urinary Tract Infection (UTI) and the second one was a more severe case which is having a kidney stone. And so, when the doctor checked me up and ran tons of laboratory examinations, nothing seemed to be wrong but even though everything seemed to be normal, why I am feeling this way? Back then, I recalled that before I felt such signs and symptoms, I did some exercise earlier that morning and because of that intuition, the doctor concluded that maybe there were just nerves that were affected especially on my back all due to my not so heavy exercise and with regard to the occasional chest pain that I am feeling (sharp pains that go away after few seconds), it said to be only a result of my acid reflux, but that did not stopped me from thinking of something else. I knew deep inside that there was something the doctor’s missing. Continue reading “28th of April”